Our lives are repeating cycles of beginnings and endings. This applies for our relationships as well. In this conversation with Andrei we dive into the new reality we are in, after we ended our relationships.

Marina (M): You were married for quite some time. How come you got divorced?

Andrei (A): Yes, we’ve been together for more than 9 years, and we have 2 kids. It wasn’t an easy decision. I just realised we’d become two strangers. Staying in that situation felt like a lie. It was clear to me that my path was in a different direction. It was like we couldn’t talk to each other anymore.

M: This reminds me of my last relationship. We talked so little that I started doubting my ability to communicate. The saddest part — we weren’t even together for that long. Just 3 months. I think when communication dies, the end of the relationship is really close.
And what about now, what’s the direction of your love life?

A: I was quite used to being in a relationship. Now it’s time for a metamorphosis. I’m not the best type to date, you might say — divorced with 2 kids, but still, I had some opportunities for a relationship that I didn’t pursue. That was my choice because I was too picky. I’ve changed my perspective since. Now, I go with the flow and let the relationships evolve naturally. I’ve also had some indirect rejections. I am not sure if that was helpful.
Enough for my past… What about you?

M: Oh… I am recovering after my summer fling. We found each other on Tinder. I had a spreadsheet to help me in choosing my boyfriend — VERY BAD decision. Although the “recruitment process” was quite logical and with points, a few weeks later I had fallen in love. Unfortunately, he hadn’t. At some point it started to hurt, so I ended everything in order to stop the pain. The separation hurt as well, but at least I didn’t feel like I was invisible. Now I am just like you — not using any apps, single and going with the flow.

A: There are different types of Love: for your children, for your partner, for your family, for your car, for an artist, for an activity. For me, the question is: Is it possible to replace the love for a partner by the love for a pet, for example? In my opinion it’s possible for a while.

M: I disagree. For me, the Love for the significant other can’t be replaced. I enjoy openly expressing my feelings and have the tendency to tell my friends that I love them, no matter men or women.. They got used to it, and now they say it more often as well.

A: For me, it’s tough to say to a man that I love him. I usually use jokes to show it instead. Lately, I hear about polyamorous Love. Have you heard about it?

M: Yep and I don’t think it’s possible in the Balkans. It’s hard for us to communicate with one person in the relationship and I imagine it would be a disaster with more people involved.

A: Maybe you’re right. Communication was crucial for my marriage.
And now what, how will you continue the dating life?

M: I don’t know. I will let the Universe surprise me! What about you?

A: I will do the same.